I Loved You Once in Silence

Page Two





Carlos held Trent close to him, enjoying the closeness that they shared. They had just made a gigantic step in their relationship -- from best friends to lovers -- and it was better than Carlos could have ever imagined. The man of his dreams was lying in his arms, with Carlos's arms wrapped around him firmly, letting him know that he was safe and secure from now on. He knew that deep down Trent was still hurting about Bryan and he really wanted Trent to talk about this man from his past, to open up to him with his feelings.

"Can you talk about it now?" Carlos asked gently, his voice barely above a whisper. "I'm right here and you're safe. I'd like you to talk to me if you can," he encouraged his lover softly.

"Talk about what?" Trent asked, not really sure which 'it' Carlos was referring to in this day of major events.

Carlos tightened his hold a little bit around Trent. He lovingly kissed him on the forehead and continued to hold him close, giving him the strength and love he knew that Trent needed and that Carlos wanted so much to provide for him.

"Please, Trent -- can you tell me about Bryan now?" he asked, hoping Trent would open up, let it out, talk about who Bryan was, what Bryan meant to him, about the dog tags -- anything to get him to talk.

At the mention of Bryan's name, Trent felt his pulse quicken, but not in a good way. He was afraid that was what Carlos had meant. "I can try, I guess. What do you want to know?" Trent asked, not sure where to start.

Carlos detected the change in Trent immediately and he kissed him again in an effort to calm him down. He didn't want to do anything to hurt or upset Trent, and if that meant not discussing Bryan then so be it. He couldn't help but feel that talking would only help though. "When did you first meet Bryan?" he asked softly, still holding Trent close, wanting Trent to feel his love -- all of his love -- coming through.

Trent felt totally safe with Carlos and knew he could tell him about Bryan, but the memory of his death, although several years ago, was still a painful thing for him to think about. But his relationship with Bryan was another matter. It had been like nothing he had ever experienced before. "We met at Fort Bragg. When Bryan first got there he kept getting lost on base and for some odd reason I was always wherever he ended up," Trent smiled a far away smile at the memory. "He swore he hadn't done it on purpose, but I was never sure I believed him. That was in 1991, just after Desert Storm," Trent's voice turned sad and dropped to just above a whisper, "He died in 1995."

Carlos pulled Trent close when he heard the change in his voice. He could feel the sadness Trent was experiencing and he wanted to wipe it all away. He knew he couldn't, but by talking about it, maybe Trent could come to terms with Bryan's death and then Trent would be able to move on, which Carlos didn't think he had done up to this point. Carlos kissed Trent again and reaffirmed his hold around him. "It's all right Trent, I'm not going anywhere. Go on, please. Don't stop -- I really want to hear all about you and Bryan," he said softly, encouragingly, snuggling close to his lover.

"There isn't all that much to tell, really. We got to be good friends and the physical," Trent paused, seemingly looking for the right words, "Well..., it just sort of happened. It surprised both of us."

That wasn't what Carlos was expecting to hear. He thought that Trent was deeply in love with Bryan to have gotten involved with him. Carlos wanted to know more -- needed to know more. He had to understand this now -- it was important to him, too. "What do you mean, Trent? Why did it surprise you?" he asked, still as softly and as gently as he could. This was good -- Trent was opening up now and it had to keep going.

"It surprised us both because neither of us had ever been with another man before. Neither of us was attracted to men. I'm still not," Trent explained. He realized what he had just said and how it must sound to Carlos. He wanted to quickly remedy that. "Then, it was just him, not other men," Trent lifted his head from Carlos's chest and looked him in the eye, "And now, it's just you, not other men. Does that make sense?"

Carlos swallowed hard at Trent's words. At first they stung -- like Trent was never interested in him at all. He knew that of course that wasn't true, so why should it bother him? Then there was Bryan that Trent became involved with and now himself like Trent said. "Yes, it makes sense," Carlos said softly.

Carlos looked down at Trent, staring straight into his eyes, and leaned down to capture his lips in a tender yet very passionate kiss which sent that warmth of love through Carlos's body. Then he settled back down pulling Trent close to him again. "You're doing great, Trent -- please keep talking. I really want to know everything about you and Bryan that you want to share with me," Carlos said soothingly, running one hand through Trent's hair while the other arm held Trent securely against him. Carlos was hoping his love would be enough to help Trent through this.

Trent settled his head back on Carlos's chest. "Like I said before, there's not that much to tell. It was a typical relationship. Well..., as typical as it could be under the circumstances," he said. And there had been a lot of circumstances to deal with, but nothing not expected, nothing like the horror stories he had heard about same sex couples and their difficulties living in a world full of prejudice towards them.

"What circumstances? Did something happen?" Carlos asked, concerned. He'd heard the stories relating to homosexuality and wondered if anyone had hurt either Trent or Bryan. Carlos really cared and truly wanted to know everything that Trent was willing to share with him.

"Oh, no, nothing happened. I just meant that two men in a relationship isn't what society deems normal. So there were things to deal with," Trent frowned, "The worst was keeping it quiet as far as the army went. It was a constant worry for us. But there are just things a same sex couple have to deal with a male/female couple just doesn't have to face. We actually had it pretty good from some of the horror stories I've heard from others."

Carlos kissed Trent's forehead tenderly. "How did he die?" he asked softly.

Trent took a deep breath and looked at Carlos. "Bryan was on a routine training mission and was on his way back to Fort Bragg when something happened to his plane. It crashed," Trent paused, swallowing a sob. He put his head back down on Carlos's chest and continued quietly, "There were no survivors."

Carlos hugged Trent tighter and gave him a moment before continuing. "Tell me more about Bryan. What was he like?" Carlos asked, trying to get a fix on the man that Trent loved before him.

"He reminded me of you, Carlos." Trent said, quietly.

"What?" Carlos said, a mixture of confusion and surprise in his voice.

Trent once again turned his face to Carlos to look him in the eye. "Bryan reminded me of you. I realized it one day after we'd been together for some time," he said. Trent looked down, away from Carlos's gaze which held an expression he couldn't read, and continued, "I was surprised at first, but after I noticed it, I wondered how I'd ever missed it before. I think I was first attracted to him, got to know him, because he reminded me so much of you." Trent looked back up at Carlos when he got no response from him at all.

Carlos couldn't say anything at first. It caught him totally by surprise, yet he was pleased -- no -- he was more than that, he was overjoyed at knowing that Trent had always felt that way about him, that he had longed for him the way that he had longed for Trent all these years. "You just made me so happy, Trent. I've wanted you for so long. I... I've been in love with you for years," Carlos said, kissing Trent again.

Trent was very surprised but very happy at Carlos's admission. He couldn't contain the huge smile that broke out on his face -- he didn't want to. But Carlos looked very serious all of a sudden. There was something more. Trent's smile faded a bit.

Carlos was fumbling on the inside trying to find the way to say what had to be said next. "This was my first time," Carlos said so quietly he was sure Trent didn't hear him. He was scared as to what Trent's reaction would be. He was hoping for love and understanding and being close -- that's all he wanted -- to be close to the man he loved.

Trent wasn't sure he heard Carlos right. He had spoken very softly. "Your first time?" Trent said in a surprised tone. **But Carlos dates more than Don Juan,** Trent thought to himself. Then it hit him. Carlos meant with another man. "You mean with another man?" he asked.

"Yes, you're the first man I've ever been with," Carlos said, speaking a little louder this time, feeling a little more sure of himself after seeing that huge smile on Trent's face that made his heart leap for joy. But he was still scared of what Trent's reaction would be, although not as scared as a moment ago. Seeing Trent smile like that was worth everything to him. "I don't want to be with anyone else ever again -- man or woman," Carlos said, looking deeply into Trent's eyes, waiting for a response, a reaction -- any signal from Trent to let Carlos know where he stood.

Trent's smile was back full force. He was beginning to wonder if he was dreaming. He was pretty sure he wasn't.

"I feel...," Trent started to say, then shifted himself slightly so he was lying half on and half off of Carlos never losing eye contact, "...the exact...," he kissed Carlos on the neck, "...same...," another kiss, on his jaw this time, "...way," with this he caught Carlos's mouth in a kiss he hoped could express half of what he was feeling.

The second Trent started to touch him, to kiss him, Carlos knew everything was all right -- better than all right. Everything was wonderful and he could finally be happy. Being with Trent was the most wonderful, incredible feeling in the world and he put his arms around him. When Trent caught his mouth in a sensational kiss, Carlos returned it with as much fire and passion as he had in him. He could feel Trent's love through that kiss and it was his intent to deliver that same love back to him through his own kiss. Trent had the magic touch and Carlos felt all of it in his heart and soul. He felt so damned lucky for having fallen in love with Trent but even more lucky that Trent was in love with him.

Carlos parted his lips and opened his mouth inviting -- no -- urging Trent to continue. Their tongues intertwined with such passion and fire that his entire body was ignited to a level that he thought incomprehensible. Never in his wildest dreams did he think he could feel this way. His arms pulled Trent even closer to him and he began caressing his lovers body with his hands.

Trent moved his hand from Carlos's shoulder, where it had been resting, to his chest and began to caress him. Finding Carlos's nipple he used his fingers to rub and fondle it. Breaking their kiss, Trent moved his mouth down to allow his tongue to continue what his fingers had started. Closing his mouth around the nipple he sucked it gently into his mouth. Now his hand was free to explore lower, rubbing Carlos's bare flesh, working his way to his navel and beyond.

The air was almost completely knocked out of Carlos when Trent started to explore his body. He felt Trent's hand touching his nipple, followed by that wonderfully sweet mouth. Then his hand made it's way lower and lower still down his body. Carlos gasped with each touch Trent applied to his skin -- his lover's touches were driving him crazy with desire and he only knew he wanted more. "You're so good, Trent -- that feels so nice," Carlos barely managed to say while Trent continued to touch him in just the right way. He was solid yet sensitive.

Trent moved his hand down further, softly touching Carlos's penis which was already showing his excitement. At Trent's touch it became more erect, confirming Carlos's words that it felt good. Continuing to fondle Carlos with his hand, Trent let his tongue follow the path his hand had taken moments before down Carlos's body.

"Oh, yes, Trent, that feels so good. You're wonderful," Carlos said, his breathing becoming more shallow and ragged as Trent's touches became more bold. He was enjoying every moment of this and never wanted it to end. "I love you so much," Carlos said, reaching for Trent and running his hands through his hair, loving the feel of him, the touch of him. Everything that was a part of Trent would now be a part of him and he couldn't be happier.

Trent shifted his body so he could get a better angle for what he had in mind. Continuing to caress the underside of Carlos's shaft with his fingers, Trent ran his tongue up the other side of it to the top. He took just the head of it into his mouth and then ran his tongue around it savoring the flavor of Carlos.

The moment Carlos felt Trent's mouth around the head of his organ he gasped and arched his back, feeling sensations running through his body that were so exciting, making him feel things he'd never known before. The energy coursing through him was unlike anything he'd ever known before and he once again reveled in knowing that he was a very lucky man indeed. As Trent continued to run his fingers along the underside of his shaft, it brought additional sensations that, when combined with what Trent's mouth was doing, made Carlos begin to tremble with passion that began to roll in waves throughout his body. "You're so good to me, Trent. I love the way you touch me," he said softly, yet in a very deep, husky voice.

Trent took just a little more of Carlos into his mouth and sucked while continuing to run his tongue around just the head. Encouraged by his lover's words, Trent quickly moved on and slid his mouth down Carlos's organ, taking him into his mouth as far as he could. Continuing the suction he moved back up slowly until he was once again at the top. He again moved his mouth down Carlos's shaft, sucking just a little bit harder, then moved back up again to swirl his tongue around the head, tasting the fluid there, tasting the flavor of Carlos. Trent continued, unable to get enough of the taste of his lover, taking him into his mouth again and again.

Carlos arched his back even higher as Trent continued this sweet torment of his body. Each time Trent tasted him, Carlos shivered with excitement wanting more. He ran his hands through Trent's hair and murmured encouraging words to his lover who was doing such magical, wonderful things to him. "That's it, lover, you feel so good -- this is so right. Please, give me more," Carlos said, his voice becoming more husky and almost raspy as his breathing became more shallow.

Trent responded to Carlos's growing need and desire by continuing to take him deeper into his mouth each time and sucking harder than the time before. Over and over Trent kept up an unrelenting pace that was causing Carlos's excitement to build to a peak. Knowing Carlos was very close to climax, Trent gave a few more gentle strokes with his tongue to taste the fluid from the opening, then swallowed Carlos as deeply as he could, finally bringing him release.

"Oh God, Trent!" Carlos cried out as he released everything he had into Trent's mouth. The feeling of Trent's mouth around him was overwhelming. To know that he was just brought to such an incredible climax in such a loving way was almost beyond imagination.

Trent thoroughly enjoyed it when Carlos let go and came with such force in his mouth. He swallowed the fluid, drawing every last drop out of Carlos, then carefully licked him clean afterwards. Trent moved back to his former place in Carlos's arms as his lover slowly came back into himself.

After a few minutes, Carlos said, "That was wonderful, Trent. Thank you." He pulled his lover closer to him, kissing him with everything he had. He wrapped his arms around Trent and held him close.

"Oh, it was my pleasure, really," Trent said, as he grinned and snuggled back into Carlos's embrace.

"I see. Well, how 'bout I give you pleasure this time?" he asked. Carlos kissed his lover again, only this time he didn't stop. The longer the kiss lasted the more he became aroused again. He wanted to make love to Trent or have Trent make love to him. It didn't matter as long as his lover was satisfied, and Carlos wanted to see to it that he was.

Trent hadn't lied. It had been his pleasure to please Carlos with his mouth. He had always enjoyed that particular activity and with the intensity of Carlos's kissing, his pleasure was getting more intense, more urgent.

"I want you inside me," Carlos said, breaking the kiss and whispering urgently to Trent. He was nervous and a little scared, this being his first time, but he knew he was safe with Trent and he wanted to satisfy his lover to the fullest.

Trent had to use all he had left in him to control himself and not take the thing Carlos was offering him. But this wasn't right, not now, not his first time. Trent looked into Carlos's eyes and saw his sincere desire to please him. It made what he had to say even harder. "I want that too, Carlos, but not now, not this soon, not like this for your first time," Trent said, gently, "It should be special, it should be slow and easy, not like this. We have plenty of time for that later."

Carlos looked at Trent and wasn't sure what to make of this. He was partly relieved because he was scared to begin with, not knowing what to expect. But a larger part of him was disappointed because he wanted to give Trent the one thing he knew would satisfy him the most. He simply nodded his head in agreement -- the look on Trent's face and in his eyes said it all. Trent was experienced at this, Carlos wasn't. If Trent felt this strongly about it, then he wouldn't argue. Instead, Carlos would be honored that Trent would treat him with such dignity and respect, not to mention love.

Trent was relieved that Carlos didn't try to argue with him on this. He simply couldn't have resisted if Carlos had offered one more time. And he did mean it. He wanted Carlos's first time to be special, something to remember for the rest of his life -- *their* lives.

Carlos smiled at Trent and kissed him very passionately then laid him down gently on his back and continued kissing him. His mouth slowly trailed down to Trent's jaw, kissing him lightly there. Continuing to move slowly, he traveled down his lover's body stopping momentarily to nuzzle the part of Trent's neck just below the Adam's apple, his tongue darting over his skin and through the soft hair there. Carlos continued going even lower, his tongue gliding along the area of Trent's body down the center. He stopped to lick and suck on first one nipple, then the other, until each one was hardened to a peak. Trent was so responsive that Carlos continued to tease the nipples, then he moved down his lover's body slowly until his tongue reached his naval where he circled the rim, enjoying the spasms that it brought to Trent's body.

It wasn't going to take much to push Trent over the edge. When Carlos found his nipples and began to suck them he almost climaxed from that alone. But as soon as he thought he was going to, Carlos released his nipple and moved on, moved farther down his body. When Carlos stopped to use his tongue on his navel, Trent again had to hold himself back not to give in to his release. He wanted this to last as long as possible it felt so good. Trent was moaning and thrashing his head from side to side. Again, just as he was sure he was going to climax, Carlos stopped his tongue's assault on his navel and moved on.

Trent was a wonderful lover and his moans and the way his body was reacting was all Carlos needed to lower himself and take Trent's erection into his mouth, as deep as he could. Carlos began to suck -- softly at first, then harder, using his tongue to help stimulate his lover. Carlos stroked Trent's organ with his mouth up and down, sucking harder and harder with each stroke until he felt his lover's body tighten for a moment, then with one large spasm, release everything he had into Carlos's mouth.

When Carlos put his mouth on his shaft, Trent knew he wasn't going to be able to take much of the stimulation. It felt too good, his control was slipping -- fast. Trent tried to warn Carlos of his climax -- it wasn't like Carlos was used to this -- but he could only moan loudly. He wasn't capable of words any longer. One more stroke of Carlos's mouth and Trent came with such intensity as he hadn't felt in a very long time, if ever.

Carlos gagged somewhat as Trent's fluid went down his throat. This was a new feeling and it was strange at first, so much to swallow and so fast. The taste was salty, maybe a little bitter, yet deliciously Trent. Despite being a little uncomfortable with all of this right now, Carlos knew that this was just something new to get used to, and with Trent as his lover, that would happen, of that he was sure. He carefully cleaned Trent off, then climbed back up beside him and drew him into his arms, snuggling very close to him. "I love you," he said softly, and kissed Trent tenderly.

Trent had still not come completely back to himself when Carlos returned to him once again to take him in his arms. All he could manage was another moan and to fall back into Carlos's embrace, his head on his chest. After another minute or two of being cuddled and kissed, oh-so-softly by Carlos, Trent was finally able to say the words again, words he had wanted to say to Carlos for so long and now he could. "I love you, too, Carlos," Trent lifted his head so he could look at Carlos, "With all my heart."



*****THE END*****



All of our stories have titles that are songs from musicals.
This one is from the musical "Camelot".
Music by Frederick Loewe and lyrics by Alan Jay Lerner.







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