A Betrayal of Principle

Part Three





Trent finished signing all the discharge papers and picked up his pain medication. Carlos helped him out to the car and they drove back to the cabin, again in silence. Once Trent was ensconced on the couch, Carlos went about making some coffee. He was extremely concerned about Trent not talking, not *doing* anything. Carlos sat down on the couch next to him and carefully put his arm around him. Damn, he was sore, and tired, and was in dire need of a bath. He thought of the huge tub in the bathroom and wondered if they both could just share it for a while, enjoying the warmth of it and each other's bodies.

"Uh, Trent?"

Trent's blue eyes looked up at him.

"Would you like to take a bath ... um, well, together? I really don't want to leave you long enough to take one by myself, and ..."

"I think that would be nice."

Carlos picked up the coffee mugs and placed them on the end table and stood up, then in one swift motion picked Trent up.

"Put me down NOW!" Trent was *not* accustomed to being carried and he damn well wasn't going to be feminized this way. He could walk just fine, thank you. "I'm not a helpless female here!"

"Quit squirming or you'll hurt us both." Carlos saw the fury in Trent's eyes and knew what was running around in his lover's thoughts. "First off, you're hurt and I can't stand to see you in pain, so let me help you, okay? Because when you hurt, I hurt. And second, I know for a *fact* you're not a female, it's quite obvious. But if I can alleviate just a little of the pain you're going through, let me. So stop this macho bullshit and accept my help and my love, okay?" Trent didn't look pleased, so Carlos continued. "Look, I'm not expecting you to be my wife - you've got entirely the wrong plumbing for one, and for two, *I* don't want a wife. We're equals here, and if I was hurt, you'd be helping me the exact same way, right?" Carlos didn't wait for an answer. "Me helping you has nothing to do with making you feel weak; it has to do with the fact that I want to help you and that I love you. Comprende?"

The words struck Trent right in the heart. He nodded, and put his arms around Carlos' neck to hang on.

Carlos made his way carefully to the bathroom, ever aware of the precious life that was in so much pain in his arms. He sat Trent down on the side of the tub and ran the water, making sure it wasn't too hot, but yet hot enough to help relieve some of the aches and pains in their bodies. He started to undress, stopping short of his briefs when he noticed Trent was watching his every move.

"What?"

Trent swallowed hard. "Now, don't take this the wrong way, but did anyone ever tell you that you were absolutely beautiful?"

Carlos gave his lover a questioning glance. "Not in so many words ... why?"

Trent had decided that his bandaged foot had become very interesting at this point. "I think you are."

When Carlos didn't answer right away, Trent sputtered on to cover his statement. "I mean, you work out, good muscle ..."

Carlos moved to kneel in front of Trent and interrupted him. "Thank you. No one's cared enough about how I feel to compliment me. And, I might add, I find you strikingly handsome yourself."

Trent gave him a shy smile and started to take his boot off of his uninjured foot. "Thank you." He then stripped off his shirt, and attempted to take off his pants by leaning on one hip, but it wasn't working very well.

Carlos stepped forward. "Let me help."

Trent opened his mouth to refuse, but he realized Carlos wasn't doing it out of pity or sympathy nor was he trying to de-masculinize him; Carlos sincerely wanted to help so Trent allowed him to. Trent stood up carefully and balanced on one foot, holding onto Carlos' shoulders while Carlos unsnapped his jeans fly and unzipped him. Trent tensed up a bit as warm hands helped peel away the jeans from his lean legs. Carlos looked up at him with concern. "You okay? Did I hit your foot?"

"No ... it's just, ... this isn't the way I planned for you to undress me the first time; I really didn't plan on being in so much pain ... otherwise, I'd find this extremely erotic."

Carlos ducked his head, not quite certain what his reaction should be. Instead, he carefully pulled the denim material over the swollen foot and helped Trent sit back down. The water was about ready, so he unwrapped Trent's foot so the bandages wouldn't get wet. He turned the jets on low and stopped. Trent looked over at him quizzically.

"Something wrong?"

Carlos ran his hand through is hair. "Um ... no, well ... we doing this 'au natural' or what?"

"Huh?"

"Sans briefs?"

"Oh. You got something I don't?" While it wasn't Trent's usual playfulness, it *was* more emotion than he'd expressed in the past few hours.

Carlos smirked at him and shucked the briefs, then helped Trent out of his. Both men eased into the tub, Carlos pulling Trent over to lean back on his chest, Carlos' arms going around his lover, wanting his embrace to be enough for Trent's wounded soul. Trent lay his head back on Carlos' shoulder and closed his eyes, feeling the hot water swirl around his body and the strong arms that held him. He allowed himself to be held, not wanting to feel anything, not wanting to remember that awful moment when he squeezed the trigger and ...

"Hey, hey, it's all right, I'm here, we're safe."

Trent had jerked forward in Carlos' arms, his gasp of breath alerting Carlos to the troubled memories just beneath the surface of the deceiving calm. He held Trent closer, and they slowly rocked as the water swirled around them.

A few minutes later, Trent nodded and Carlos let him lose.

"Thanks amante, I ..."

Carlos put his finger to Trent's lips. "We'll talk about it when you're ready, 'kay? How about we wash this grime off ourselves and sink back down onto that comfy bed?" Trent reached for the soap and washcloth and handed it to Carlos, the unspoken request heard loud and clear as Carlos began to wash Trent. Nothing too erotic, just a gentle exploration of the body next to him, being extra gentle around the swollen ankle. When he was done, he handed the soap and washcloth to Trent who did the same to Carlos, paying special attention to the bruises that peppered the Latino's chest. Neither one talked during this time, both allowing the peacefulness of the situation to overcome the traumatic events of the past day; the soap and water helping to partially erase the evidence of the day's happenings.

Carlos got out first and dried off, securing a towel around his waist before helping Trent out. Once both men were sufficiently dried off and in clean briefs, Carlos again carried Trent, this time to the bedroom and this time without complaint.

After situating Trent on the bed and propping his injured foot up, Carlos went about making a fire, then crawled into the bed next to his lover. They held each other until they both fell asleep.



*************************




Trent woke up and saw a rifle being pointed at his head.

"You might want to be careful with that thing, it might go off.

It was too surreal ... it couldn't be happening again, not in the safe confines of the cabin ... could it?

"Do what you want to with me, just leave my friend alone, okay?"

Beady eyes glared down at him. "Don't you mean your lover, faggot? Gotta wipe your kind off the face of the earth, yep, that's what we gotta do."

"Look, sir, you don't want to do that. He's a cop; he helps people, makes sure our streets are safe ... he's one of the good guys."

The rifle moved to point at Carlos' head. "More the reason to get rid of you, both of you ... corrupting the good Texas police force ... such an abomination."

Trent rolled over to cover Carlos' body when he felt something hard poke him in his side. It was Carlos' service revolver lying between them in the bed. Trent contemplated his choices again, and again, was terrified at all of them. Allow this madman to kill Carlos or ... And like before, his body reacted before his mind could make a choice, as he heard the rifle being cocked to fire. His fingers twisted around the cool metal, and with one swift motion, he grabbed the revolver, holster and all, switched off the safety and fired.

The evil face was replaced by his lover's as he watched Carlos fall to the floor.



********************




Trent woke up with a start, his heart beating wildly, his breathing coming in shallow gasps, his ankle throbbing in time with his heartbeat. He was covered in sweat and it took him a minute to register he was being touched and spoken to.

"... okay? Trent?" Carlos had been woken from a deep sleep by his friend's obvious nightmare.

Trent held onto the arm that was around his chest and forced himself to calm down. "Yeah, I ... I'm okay. Bad dream."

"Must've been a doosey. Wanna talk about it?"

Trent knew he wasn't talking about the dream and he *really* didn't want to talk, but he needed to; he had to get it out. "He was going to kill you, I could see it in his eyes. No remorse, no reasoning with him, he was going to put a slug in your head. I couldn't allow him to do that; I tried covering you with my body, but that wouldn't stop him. I felt your gun poke me in the side and I reacted ... it was as if I had no choice."

"You didn't. He would have killed you, too."

"I don't care about me; I just couldn't let anything happen to you. I had to ... I couldn't find another choice." He turned his terror-filled eyes to Carlos. "Carlos, I needed to find another choice, but I couldn't find a choice that left you alive. Don't you understand?"

Needless to say, Carlos was a little disturbed by his friend's words. "What do you mean, you didn't care about yourself?"

Trent reached out and stroked Carlos' cheek. "You're the only thing that matters to me."

Carlos tried to keep his temper in control. "Trent, do you know what it would do to me if you died and I lived? Because of *your* actions? That you died instead of me? I couldn't live knowing that. Promise me you will never do anything like that ... please promise me."

"I don't know if I can. I can promise to love you until the day I die. Can you accept that?"

"Yeah, I can, as long as you accept that I need you, I want you and I love you." Carlos smiled. "Boy we're turning into two mushy guys here."

"Sometimes we all need a little mush." Trent leaned in closer and kissed Carlos; not a chaste kiss, but nothing demanding, just pure passion. They parted, reluctantly, and Trent lay back down, Carlos spooning up behind him, adjusting the covers around them both. A few moments passed when Carlos broke the silence. "I think I do understand, Trent. And I'm sorry you had to face that choice."

Trent intertwined his fingers with Carlos' and squeezed lightly. "Thank you." He pulled Carlos' arm more securely around him and hoped Carlos' presence would be enough to keep the nightmares a bay this time.



*************************




Trent woke up to the smell of frying bacon. For a moment he thought he'd dreamed the entire previous 24 hours, but the throbbing in his foot told him otherwise. He turned and sat up, careful not to jar his foot too much, and wondered how well he'd be able to hobble to the bathroom. Carlos walked into the room just as Trent was preparing to stand up.

"Here, let me help." Carlos put one arm around Trent and scooped him up.

"You know, a man could get a serious complex being picked up all the time."

"Hey, you're hurt ... you're allowed *some* pampering by the one that loves you." Carlos pecked him on the nose. "Anyway, as soon as the swelling goes down, you'll be hobbling around with a cane in no time. Bet ya can do a mean Charlie Chaplin." Carlos set him down in the bathroom and left him to his business.

While he was shaving, he heard Carlos' phone ring, but was unable to hear the conversation going on. He finished grooming about the time Carlos came back to the bathroom. His Latino lover stood behind him and embraced him, his powerful arms encircling his chest and he felt so protected, so loved. For an instant he warred with himself, telling himself that this was a sign of weakness to need this protection ... but he quickly realized they protected each other, they loved each other and there was no weakness in that. He looked at Carlos in the mirror.

"Was that ...?"

Carlos kissed Trent on the cheek before replying. "Yes, that was the sheriff. They made their way up the mountain and found Harry's ... found Harry. Another team went up to his cabin. Seems Harry kept a journal ... he'd been watching us since we arrived and he wrote that it was his civic duty to ... um ..."

"What?"

"I really don't want to ... just suffice it to say he wanted us dead and leave it at that."

"No, what did he write? I *need* to know ... for my sanity; for closure."

Carlos took a deep breath and forced his eyes to meet Trent's. "He wrote that it was his civic duty to rid the world of fags like us."

Trent closed his eyes and sank back into Carlos' chest. Carlos held on tighter and hoped their love would be strong enough to weather the storms those words had created.

Trent broke the silence. "You know I hate labels."

"Yeah, I know. Me too."

"And I don't consider myself, well, gay."

Carlos furrowed his brow. "And you mean *what* by that?"

"I love you, I want to be with you, in all sense of the word, but only you ... do you understand?"

"Yeah, same here. But what does that have to do ..."

"I don't find men attractive. None of them. No one but you."

Carlos buried his face in the crook of Trent's neck and softly kissed the juncture where the neck and shoulder met. "The only person, man *or* woman I want in my life ... for the rest of my life ... is you. Comprende?"

"Comprendo. Same here."

"You ready for breakfast?"

"Yeah, just help me back into the bedroom so I can get dressed, 'kay?"

"Actually, how does breakfast in bed sound?"

Trent stiffened in Carlos' arms. "I am not an invalid!"

"Never said you were. Just thought we could feed each other, then cuddle some more, try that kissing thing again."

Trent playfully punched Carlos in the arm. "You are something else, you know that?"

Carlos responded by picking him up and placing him back on the bed in the bedroom. He hurried to the kitchen and brought in their breakfast of bacon and eggs and the two men spent the next half an hour feeding each other, sharing kisses and touches and banishing the ugliness of the world from their reality, if only for the moment.



*************************




Sheriff Conti came by later that afternoon and had them sign their statements, then told them they were free to go. Carlos packed up the car and helped Trent get in.

Trent watched Carlos get in the driver's seat. "Some weekend, huh?"

"Yeah, some weekend. I love you, you know." Carlos picked up Trent's hand and kissed the back of it.

"Yeah, I know. I love you too."

Carlos pulled out onto the highway and they rode in a comfortable silence as the miles rolled by. About two hours into the return trip, Trent needed to talk.

"Carlos?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been thinking."

"You seem to do that a lot." Carlos was smiling at him.

"Well, I think I might need to talk to ... someone, you know, about what happened."

"Talking to someone is good."

"Do you think the police psychiatrist could recommend someone?"

Carlos knew his friend was an extremely private man, and to admit to needing something like this ... "I'm certain she can. I'll discretely ask her tomorrow, 'kay."

"Thanks."

Carlos covered Trent's hand with his own and they continued the trip, if not secure with their place in the world, at least secure in their love for each other.




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