My Cup Runneth Over
Page Eleven
Friday came and the same routine followed for the morning, but Carlos had a doctor's appointment in the afternoon. Sitting on the bed waiting for Carlos to finish getting ready, Trent was wondering just what the doctor was going to have to say today. He knew Carlos was doing much better, but he was still having some headaches and tired and dizzy spells. Trent was very conflicted about his feelings. As much as he wanted Carlos to be well again, to resume his normal routine as soon as he could, he was going to miss all the hours of closeness they had shared these last couple weeks.
Trent looked at his watch. "You about ready? We need to get going," Trent said, not trying to rush Carlos but let him know they needed to leave soon.
Carlos was nearly ready, having only to put on his socks and shoes then they could leave. He was concerned about the doctor's appointment and he didn't want to worry his lover by telling him what was on his mind. He'd continued having spells and even though the doctor had said he would and that they would gradually get better which was true -- each one was a little better than the previous one -- he still felt that they should be gone. Carlos couldn't help but feel that there was a problem -- that he wasn't doing as well as he should be. He wanted so much to be back to normal, to go to work alongside his partner, best friend and lover. He finished tying his shoes and then smiled at his lover. "Ready, baby," he said, and went up to Trent and pulled him up from the edge of the bed and close to him then kissed him lightly on the lips.
Trent put his arms around Carlos as he drew him close. "Yes, I noticed you're always ready," Trent teased his lover. Then continuing in a tone of mock realization at his mistake, "Oh! You mean to *leave*. My mistake," Trent grinned at Carlos. Trent brushed his hand through his lover's hair. "I love you, you know," he said, changing to a smile full of love. "Let's go," Trent added and let go of Carlos and turned him around, giving him a swat on the backside to get him moving.
"I'm always ready for *anything* when it comes to you, my love," Carlos said sensuously, grinning right back at Trent. He smiled even brighter when his lover ran a hand through his hair thinking of the curls that were forming now that his hair was growing longer, knowing how much that would please his lover. Carlos loved it when Trent turned him around and when he felt his behind being swatted he looked over his shoulder chuckling. "I'm going already... I'm going," he said, laughing even harder as he reached the front door, opened it and went out into the hallway. He watched as Trent locked the door behind them, then they went down the stairs and out to the parking lot. As they did so, Carlos was wondering what the doctor was going to say. How had his spells really been? Would they be what the doctor would have expected? Better or worse than that? He didn't have any idea of what to expect.
Trent followed Carlos out to the parking lot. He could tell his lover had the appointment on his mind. He realized that it was probably just a normal reaction to the unknown of what the doctor would tell him, but he was hoping there wasn't something more Carlos wasn't saying.
Trent caught up to Carlos at the car. His lover was waiting by the passenger door for him to get in and unlock it for him. Trent looked at Carlos over the top of the car and smiled at him then opened his door and got in. He leaned over and unlocked the passenger door then put on his seat belt. He looked over at Carlos who was just getting his seat belt on. When he was buckled in, Trent reached over and covered his lover's hand with his own. "Everything's going to be fine," he said, a little softer than he intended to.
After Carlos sat down he pulled the seatbelt over his shoulder and securely fastened it. He was so grateful that his lover put his hand over his -- Trent's touch was always just what he needed -- and as much as he didn't want Trent to worry he knew that his lover realized something was on his mind. He looked at Trent, listened to the words his lover spoke to him -- so soft and sensitive -- and he smiled. "I hope so, baby, I hope so," he said softly.
"Well, I *know* so," Trent said, squeezing his lover's hand on the word 'know'.
Carlos wasn't certain of anything at this point and he was scared -- wondering what was going to happen once he got to see and talk to the doctor. Was he ever going to be all right again -- back to the way he was before anything happened to him? "Thank you," he added, putting his other hand over Trent's, happy that his lover could read him so well and know what was bothering him.
Trent reached over and put his other hand on top of Carlos's that was on top of his. Attempting to lighten the mood, Trent said, "Now, if you're a good boy at the doctor's today, I'll take you out for ice cream afterwards. How's that sound?" Trent was waiting for a reaction, "You can even get a banana split if you want one. Just no creative use of whipped cream in public, OK?"
Carlos couldn't help but smile and smile brightly at his lover. The very gentle loving way Trent was being meant the world and was exactly what he needed right now. He was still scared, there was no denying that, but he was going to try not to focus on it so much. "I'll be good, I promise," he said, his eyes starting to twinkle again. "But I have another idea. Perhaps we could take our banana splits home and even stop for some whipped cream on the way?" he suggested with just a hint of wickedness in his voice and that famous smile starting to play on his lips.
"What am I going to do with you?" Trent asked laughing, "Leave it to you to think of that. We can go to Dairy Queen, they expect you to take it with you." Trent squeezed both his lover's hands, each under one of his own, before removing them so he could start the car.
Carlos laughed, too -- it felt good. He sighed when Trent squeezed his hands, not realizing how much he needed that until he felt it happening. "Dairy Queen sounds perfect -- thanks, Trent," he said, then he turned back to face the road and the unknown that was ahead of him, trying to focus on being positive but the feeling of uncertainty was slowly working it's way back inside him. What if the doctor said he couldn't do certain things, that he was never going to be the same? What then? It wasn't very long after Trent started driving before he found himself lost in his thoughts, not even paying attention to where they were, just wondering what might be waiting for him when they got there.
Trent decided it was probably best to just leave Carlos to his thoughts. Him saying it was going to be better was little comfort, he knew. He needed to hear it from the doctor.
It wasn't long before Trent was pulling into the office complex where Dr. Bowman had his office. Trent knew the office was here in this group of buildings but not specifically where. He stopped the car just after pulling in the parking lot. "I'm not sure exactly where the office is, Carlos, which way?" Not getting a response to his question he looked over at his lover, totally lost in thought. "Earth to Carlos. Come in, Carlos," Trent said in an attempt to get his lover's attention. When Carlos looked at him he said, "Which way?" indicating if he should go left, right or straight ahead.
Carlos looked at his lover and realized that he'd been asking him a question. He focused and heard it when Trent asked again. "Go to the left, baby, then to the end and park anywhere," he said quietly, as he looked around, seeing the familiar office buildings. **Here we are, and I'm about to find out how I am. No turning back now,** he thought to himself. He took a deep breath, looked out the window, and let it out. He knew that whatever happened -- however this turned out -- that he would have Trent by his side for the rest of his life and that was all that mattered. He smiled and turned to look at his lover, once again reminding himself of how lucky he was.
Trent did as Carlos instructed and parked the car. Looking over at Carlos, Trent again put his hand out and covered his lover's hand with his own. "Everything *is* going to be OK, Carlos," Trent said in a reassuring and confident tone, then continued in a very serious tone, "And if by some chance it isn't, we'll face it together." Trent squeezed his lover's hand, and lightened his tone, "Now, come on, let's get this over with so we can get our ice cream."
Once again Trent's touch was all Carlos needed, and he visibly relaxed as soon as he felt his lover's hand on his and heard his soothing words and comforting tone. Trent was right -- everything was most likely going to be all right, and if not then they would face it together. Carlos knew he was the luckiest man in the world to have Trent in his life and he said a silent prayer of thanks once more. He then took his other hand and squeezed Trent back, smiling. "You're right -- let's get going," he said. "Thank you, baby," he added softly, hoping his eyes and expression would convey the depth of his feelings to his lover.
Trent squeezed both of Carlos's hands under his again as he had before. He smiled at Carlos -- a reassuring smile full of love. Having noted when they drove in and parked there weren't a lot of other people around, and the way they were parked didn't afford a direct view into the car, Trent leaned over and kissed Carlos very softly on the cheek. "I love you," he said, smiling the same smile full of love at Carlos before moving to get out of the car.
Carlos took his seatbelt off, opened the door, and after getting out and locking the door he waited for his lover to join him in the short walk to the doctor's office. Once inside he went up to the receptionist and she said he wouldn't have to wait that they'd be right with him.
Trent got out of the car and they walked into the office building and into the doctor's office, Trent following Carlos's lead, since he hadn't been there before. Arriving at the office he waited while Carlos checked in with the office staff. They both took a seat and it was only a few moments before the nurse called Carlos into a room to do the usual preliminaries before the doctor examined him.
Trent looked up when they called Carlos's name. He smiled at his lover and then watched him walk over to the door and follow the nurse. He really was glad they hadn't been kept waiting long. The waiting was the worst, it seemed. Even if it were bad news of some kind, and he honestly didn't think it would be, it was better to know than not to know. He looked around for a magazine to read. Finding nothing worth looking at and nothing newer than six months old, he decided to just sit and wait.
The nurse finished what she had to do quickly -- taking his blood pressure, temperature, asking questions about how he'd been feeling, then left. Carlos's thoughts drifted once more to what he might hear from the doctor and he remembered the day he was abducted, his long walk back to his lover, and each spell he'd had since then. He remembered them in every detail. He felt like he'd been in the room for hours but only a few minutes had passed before the doctor entered the room. After they shook hands he got to the questions which Carlos hoped would lead to the answers he wanted to hear.
Trent heard Carlos's voice from just inside the inner door as he spoke with the receptionist and made another follow up appointment. It really hadn't taken very long at all. Trent was a bit surprised, but figured it was just because of the time of day it was. He was used to having appointments at peak hours like everyone else. In the middle of the day, there was hardly anyone here. He stood up as the inner door opened and Carlos came out. "All set?" Trent asked, making sure Carlos was done with everything he needed to do before leaving.
Carlos looked at Trent and smiled. "All set," he said, then put the follow-up appointment card in his wallet. He turned and walked out the door of the doctor's office and headed to the parking lot and out to the car. His mind was on what the doctor had to say, and he kept going over everything in his mind again and again, as if there was a recording that was being repeated.
Trent got in the car, unlocked the door for Carlos, got his seat belt on then waited for his lover to be settled in the car before speaking. He could tell his lover was lost in thought, but exactly what he was thinking Trent couldn't tell -- he couldn't read his expression at all. Since Carlos hadn't volunteered any information about the appointment, and it didn't look like he was on his way to, Trent put a hand on Carlos's arm. "You don't have to give me details right now, if you don't want to, but just a general idea. How'd it go?"
Carlos sat down, buckled his seatbelt and sat there just thinking about his doctor's visit. He felt his lover's touch, his wonderful touch, and turned to Trent and smiled. "It was good news, baby. Not perfect, but good news overall," he said, smiling more brightly than he had earlier. "Come on, I'll tell you all about it over ice cream," he added, wanting to share every detail with Trent, and hoping his lover would ask any questions he had. He still needed for all of this to settle with him, and he knew that talking it over with Trent -- sharing it with his lover -- would do so much for them both. He needed that right now.
Trent smiled brightly at Carlos. It wasn't just his words that made Trent happy, but his change in attitude. He could see Carlos was still digesting the doctor's words, but could also tell there was nothing bad or unexpected in what had been found. He could wait for the details until they were somewhere they could talk. "Sounds good," Trent said, squeezing Carlos's arm before turning to start the car.
The drive to Dairy Queen was uneventful and very quiet. Trent thought it best to let Carlos straighten everything out in his mind, get himself comfortable with all the information before talking to him about it. So he just let him think. Once in the parking lot at Dairy Queen, Trent put his hand on Carlos's arm again stopping him from getting out of the car. "Hey, wait. I forgot to check with the doctor to find out if you were a good boy or not," Trent said smiling brightly at Carlos, "So, were you a good boy? You didn't yell in the doctor's stethoscope or anything did you?"
Carlos had been lost in his thoughts again, and before he knew it Trent was parking the car in the parking lot of Dairy Queen. He felt his lover's hand on his arm and he turned to look at his lover, smiling happily at Trent's words. He just loved Trent's teasing -- it made him feel so warm and loved, and always made everything better. "I was a *very* good boy. The doctor said I couldn't yell and I didn't," he said in a voice that sounded like a child who had done just what his parents asked him to and was proud of himself. "He said I was one of his best patients, too," he added smiling even brighter as he got out of the car and waited for his lover to join him.
Trent grinned from ear to ear at Carlos and his return teasing. It was good to see his lover feeling this way after the expected but somber mood earlier. Getting out of the car, still grinning, then looking at Carlos over the top of the car, Trent said, "If you were *that* good, maybe you deserve extra whipped cream for your banana split?"
Carlos looked at Trent and smiled, his eyes sparkling, and that oh-so-wicked smile of his beginning to play on his lips at seeing his lover's grin. "Oh I *do* deserve extra whipped cream, really I do," he said.
Trent shut the car door and headed towards the door of the Dairy Queen trying very hard not to break into uncontrollable laughter *or* get aroused at Carlos's words or the look on his face.
Carlos was doing his best to control his arousal as he followed his lover towards the entrance to Dairy Queen. He was starting to feel better, but he still had a lot on his mind and what the doctor said was still something he needed to process and let sink in, but he understood everything and it hadn't been as bad as what he expected -- better in fact. He couldn't wait to discuss it all with his lover.
Entering ahead of Carlos, Trent saw a sign for the newest Dairy Queen sundae. **Oh, this is *too* much!** he thought. Turing to his lover who was just walking up to him, Trent did his best to say in a regular speaking voice, "You totally set on a banana split? How about a Smore Galore Parfait?" Starting to laugh at the expression on Carlos's face, as well as not get aroused, Trent continued, "It's *on* the menu," he pointed at the sign advertising the new sundae.
Carlos couldn't believe it when he saw what Trent was referring to and heard his words. He just looked at his lover and his mind went back to the weekend at the lake when they had gone down to the beach that night and had the nice roaring fire and made smores. He looked at the picture of the sundae again and his lover trying hard not to laugh and it was all but over for him. "Yes, I can see that it's on the menu," he said, and started laughing. He was becoming aroused despite his efforts not to. There was another menu that this fell under -- the dessert menu that they'd experienced before. "It sounds perfect," he said. Yes, this was going to be very interesting indeed he thought as he followed his lover to the counter.
Trent had noticed on the way in the place was all but deserted this time of day. They needed to talk, and although it was nothing that couldn't be talked about it public, he preferred the privacy the empty seating area afforded. So after getting their ice cream and paying for it, Trent took the tray and headed to the dining area. Picking a booth out of the main traffic area as well, Trent headed to the table and sat down. After each of them had started eating, Trent said, "So? What did the doctor have to say? How you doing?"
Carlos looked at Trent, took a deep breath and let it out. He wanted to take his lover's hands in his and hold them but he couldn't being out in public, so he just looked at Trent and started to go over everything the doctor and he had discussed during his visit. "The doctor said that the spells I had were normal -- there was nothing out of the ordinary about them and the fact that they are getting better gradually is a very good sign that I'm on the road to a full recovery," he said, then paused for a few moments before going on further.
Trent decided it was best to just let Carlos talk, as long as he was getting the information out, and let this go at his pace. His lover had already said it was good news, or not bad news, which was the most important thing, so it was just a matter of getting the details. Trent listened carefully to what Carlos was saying, glad to hear the spells had been within what was expected. He had thought so, from what they had been told when Carlos had left the hospital, but it was good to know for sure it wasn't worse than it should have been. Trent smiled at his lover's words, wanting to kiss him and hug him, but unable to in public. He settled for quickly reaching for and squeezing his lover's hand, before letting go and continuing to listen.
This next part wasn't going to be as easy for Carlos to say. "He said that the spells would continue for a while longer, maybe as long as another two weeks, but that I should be completely healed by then at the latest," he said, and he looked into his lover's eyes hoping that Trent wouldn't be too worried.
Looking back at Carlos, Trent smiled again. "Sounds like it's very normal then, if not pleasant to have happening," Trent said, knowing the spells weren't easy on either of them. He decided it was best to not dwell on it. If the doctor said it was normal, that was what mattered, even if just the thought of the spells -- Carlos having one when he was alone -- sent Trent into worry mode.
"Did the doctor say anything about when you could resume normal activities? I know you'll need to ease back into stuff like work, but did he give you any idea when you might start easing? You must be getting tired of spending all day in bed," Trent said, then added in a more suggestive voice, "At least without me in it with you."
Carlos thought for a few moments while he absorbed everything that had been said up to this point. Trent was so loving and supportive, and listening to his reassuring voice did more for him than his lover would ever know. He looked at his precious lover and smiled a little more brightly than he had before, thinking about all of the time he had spent in his lover's bed, that *they* had spent in his bed, and he was becoming very aroused at his lover's suggestive voice. "Yes, as a matter of fact I am tired of spending all day in bed without you in it," he said, his eyes twinkling. "He did say that I could start easing back into work right away, but slowly. Only a few hours a day at first. So we'll be together in *or* out of bed," he said, in just as suggestive of a voice as his lover had spoken in.
Trent smiled again knowing the fact he was being allowed back to work was good. "What about driving? I still might need to go in for longer hours than you for a while. Not that we can't work something out if you can't," Trent asked. The idea of Carlos driving and having a spell was enough to drive Trent totally over the line into worryland, but if the doctor said it was OK, he would abide by his recommendations. However, Trent hoped the answer was going to be 'no driving yet' for more reasons than just the worry.
Carlos smiled even more at seeing the smile on his lover's face, knowing that Trent was relieved and felt better about everything. That was what he was hoping for -- that he would feel better. It meant the world to Carlos that Trent was feeling better. He nodded his head when Trent asked about the driving. "The doctor said that I could drive but only short distances and just for what I had to -- such as going to work, the grocery store, things like that," he said softly, looking at his lover the whole time and hoping Trent wouldn't be too worried about it.
Trent felt his stomach do a flip flop when Carlos said he was allowed to drive, even short distances. But he managed to keep the worry out of his face -- at least he thought he did. "Well, I can't say I'm happy about you driving at all until the spells are gone," Trent said, knowing he couldn't and wouldn't hide something like that from Carlos, "But if the doctor says it's OK, well, he's the doctor. He wouldn't say it if he didn't think it was OK." Trent pushed his other concern about Carlos being allowed to drive again firmly out of his mind. Now wasn't the time to be thinking of anything but Carlos and how he was doing physically.
Carlos wasn't surprised that his lover was worried and concerned, and he deeply appreciated his lover expressing his concerns to him. "It's going to be fine, Trent. I promise I won't drive anywhere unless it's something that won't wait, OK?" he said, smiling hopefully at his wonderful lover and hoping that that would ease his mind a little. He had seen the worried look of concern on Trent's face as soon as he told him, and he wanted to do whatever he could to reassure him that he would still take it easy. "This is just a way of easing back into things. It's saying that I'm getting better -- slowly but surely," he added, although deep down inside he was still just as frustrated with his spells as he was sure Trent was. His lover had been wonderful throughout all of it, and Carlos knew he always would be. "We'll work through this together, like we always do," he said, then smiled again.
Trent listened to Carlos trying to reassure him. He appreciated it, but it just wasn't going to work. He wouldn't be able to stop worrying until Carlos was over the spells entirely. But his lover was right. It really did mean he was getting better -- Trent knew that. "I know all that, but it doesn't mean I'm happy about it," Trent said, "About you driving, I mean. But I can live with it, especially since you promised not to unless you have to."
Trent noticed Carlos was done with his ice cream, as was he. He reached over again and squeezed his lover's hand. "You ready to go home now? Or you need another treat for being a good boy?" Trent smiled at the wicked grin that question brought to his lover's face. "I meant *here* before we leave -- and before you say it, no, we're *not* going to try for the Eyewitness News."
Carlos loved having his hand squeezed -- it made him feel better and he could not resist giving his lover his wicked grin -- it was something special that they shared between them, and something he wouldn't deny. "I'm ready to go home now," he said softly. "But I don't understand why we can't try for the news," he added, trying his famous pout on Trent, but he was sure it wouldn't have the desired effect -- it rarely did when it came to his lover who knew him so well.
Trent just grinned and shook his head at Carlos and his pouting, "What am I going to do with you?" he said in mock exasperation. Trent picked up the tray with their trash on it and slid out of the booth.
The drive home was uneventful and quiet. Carlos was lost in thought again about his appointment and Trent was thinking about what Carlos had told him. He didn't like the driving thing, but like he had said to Carlos, if the doctor said it was OK, it was OK. He was more concerned about his other realization of what Carlos being able to drive again meant. Again, pushing it out of his head, for now, Trent pulled into the parking lot of his apartment.
Carlos didn't even realize it when Trent pulled into the parking lot. He was still going over everything in his mind that the doctor said. Everything about his injury from the day it happened right up until today was crashing down on him. It was overwhelming and he had kept so much of what he had been feeling bottled up inside that he needed to let it out. He wanted to share it with Trent -- with his lover -- so that Trent would understand and he knew that his lover would be right there with him. What he was feeling was so complicated, and so intense -- there was so much to it, that he was unaware of anything else at the moment.
Trent reached over and gently touched Carlos on the arm. He was so far away, Trent was afraid he might actually startle him. "Carlos, come on, were home," Trent said quietly. Having gotten his lover's attention enough that he realized they were home and he could get out of the car, if not getting him totally back from where ever his thoughts were, Trent got out of the car and started towards the apartment, Carlos following behind him.
Opening the apartment door, Trent stepped aside to let Carlos go in first then went inside himself and closed the door. Carlos was still lost in thought, standing inside the door, his back to Trent. Trent walked over to his lover and touched his back very lightly, so he wouldn't startle him, then gently turned his lover around and hugged him tightly, putting his head on Carlos's chest as he did so. "I'm glad you're doing so well. I love you so much," he said.
Carlos knew he was home, but he was still drifting and he wasn't ready to come out of it yet, even though he wanted to be. He just couldn't shake everything that had happened to him, and that he was still going to be experiencing the spells. Yes, he was better, and some of the restrictions that had been placed on him had been modified, but he still felt like he wasn't completely whole as a person, and that bothered him greatly. When Trent touched him, then turned him around and hugged him he fell into his lover's embrace and hugged him back so tight that the emotions were threatening to take him over. His lover's words meant the world to him and he loved the feeling of Trent's head on his chest. "Thank you, baby...," he said, and would have said more, but his voice caught and he couldn't go on -- it was just too much for him at the moment.
Trent felt the almost desperate grip his lover had on him. He knew Carlos was still dwelling on the doctor's appointment and everything he had been told, but this surprised him a little. He hadn't realized it was quite this bad.
"Hey," Trent said, lifting his head from Carlos's chest and looking up at him and hugging him tighter, "You said you were on your way to a full recovery, that's what's important here. As hard as all this is on you, it does take time to heal and get better." Trent put his hand in Carlos's hair and brushed it with his fingers. "Even Conan needs time to heal, you know," Trent added, attempting to lighten the mood just a bit. "A full recovery is what's important here," he finished, being more serious again.
Carlos heard his lover's words and knew he was right, but he was still feeling the extent of everything that had happened. He was truly shaken by it all, remembering every detail of the night he was abducted and when he'd finally made it home to Trent and the way Trent had hugged him that night -- very tight like now -- as if he were afraid that if he let go that Carlos would have disappeared again. Well, that was exactly how he was feeling now, that if he let go that whatever he had would go away. He didn't want that to happen, and he didn't know what to say or how to say it, he only knew he had to find a way to talk to Trent and explain it somehow -- but try as he might he could only nod his head at hearing his lover's words -- he just couldn't speak yet. He wanted them to keep holding each other and never let go.
Go to Page Twelve